Page 25

Yet the third spoke with a piqued look
In a tone, that I will never forget:

Operating would not remove my ailment,

And furthermore, it held no interest for him!

--

My one solace in these days

Was that, since I was in such a state,

I was allowed to say so many curse words,

I could say anything I wanted.

It changed my tune back to cheerful and jolly -

But the others suffered under it.

Page 23 and 24

Dyspeptic.

In the beginning the illness wasn't so bad,

I was likely to recover on my own.

But as my relatives, in herds,

assumed to show their caring -

I began to have stomach troubles.

I lost some pounds. -

Now I absorbed salt from Carlsbad en masse,

guzzled baking soda and seltzer like a fool,

drank castor oil from a saucer -

and my gastric flu was finished!

--

In this most dire of episodes

I managed, naturally, to have everything go amiss:
I consulted various doctors,

and they all had various methods:

The first had a healing goal

He prescribed me a pink medicine:

The medicine gradually went away,

The gastric flu - that stayed.

The second examined my tongue and pharynx,

Felt my pulse and announced sophisticatedly:

"I declare you completely healthy,

But - come again tomorrow!"

Page 21 and 22

Dyspeptic.

[Editor's note: Dyspepsia (from the Greek "δυς-" (Dys-), meaning hard or difficult, and "πέψη" (Pepse), meaning digestion) refers to disorders of the stomach involving symptoms such as heartburn, nausea, pain, or general discomfort. From Wikipedia.]

Page 19 and 20

Thus, if all this did not exist on earth,
What would, exactly - be the purpose of a satirist?!" -

That he spoke, then disappeared into the dark night. -

I was soon red and soon sick,
"Surprised yet again,
I hadn't thought of that! -
Man alive!" this crossed my mind:
"I shouldn't write any more poems?!
And the world ought not to abide satirists?!
That is not possible, that cannot be!"

And in my cheeks I felt my blood rushing,
And I felt a hotness burning in my heart,
"No, no," I shouted out, "I'll admit this:
I have erred! Morality is good!!
It is the holiest of earth's good things,
We all, all live because of it,
hail it and its brave guardian!" -
And off I went with apprehensive steps,
To ask for the lawyer's apology,
And humbly I knocked on his door.

I would speak just like a book

And repentfully grasp his knees -

But he had a lady visitor --

So, regretfully - I wasn't admitted.

[End of chapter 1: The Invention of Morality.]

Page 18

The newspapers already accuse me so,
I lacked the holy wrath,
But now a way and a goal beckon me!
Smash me if you will, but I must change them!" -

"On the contrary!" said Satan frigidly,
"I value such unselfish action!
Always combat only the false morals,
When your outrage is so high and sincere,
But first deliberate once more,
Whether morality - is actually so bad!

Because of morality the whole world lives,
that is, it holds mankind together.
Because of morality we have both
high and low officers of morality.
Because of morality we have censors,
the noble-born lawyers.
Because of morality we have the common people,
the marriage brokers and newlyweds.
Because of morality we have tenants of virtue,
the fortune hunters, the counsel daughters,
Hypocrites and saps live in good silence,
Falseness and foolishness live - and you live, too! ---

Page 17

So spoke the devil. - But I began to tremble
as a heroic plan bubbled within.
Never before in my entire life
had this magnificent feeling occurred.
"Satan!" I yelled with a haughty gesture,
"You have measured with great cunning
the egotism of the giants of the world.
But you have forgotten one thing!
One thing, Satan, that you forgot,
That stands here before you in shame and outrage:
The satirist is he, the uncorrupted poet,
He who knows no selfish interests.
He who would reveal your dirty pact!
I want to speak to young and old
and wish to accomplish my high duty.
And wish to hold a mirror up to the world.

I'll bellow in the ear of humankind
And drive them to a spring of genuine truth. -

Page 15/16

Thus, we created a monopoly
much like tobacco and alcohol,
as the state wore the people out,
with a design - called "wedlock."

The consumer must pay his taxes,
Moreover, he needs a church blessing,
But he can't do it all,
So - he falls into my claws!

The state first deliberated for a while,
Because they are always somewhat sluggish,
The church immediately understood me. -
So we kept humankind in groups:
Taxmen, clerks, and clerics -

And in doing so, I still stand strong!"

Page 14

So now I sat and lamented long,
And I commenced to rack my poor brain:
"Now, where can I find sinning people?" -
But gradually it began to hit me:
"If man," so I said after a short time,
"Doesn't do what's forbidden,
Then the quick and easy solution:
Forbid what he does! -
Listen well - in this hour,
Whipped up from imperiousness and mental wretchedness,

I invented morality! -

It was a colossal idea!!

Man degenerated into plight instantly,
Descended into conflict and got off track -
Since those old days my rule has thrived,
And claimed millions of subjects!" -

---

My head whirled. Yet diligently
Satan went on: "Every invention has
an initial requirement - the financial foundation.
So I needed a mighty ally.

I betook myself to churches and states
and with them created a triumvirate.
"My good sirs," I said, "I have developed
a phenomenal tax object:
Carnality is the height of life on earth,
This point can be counted on!

Page 13

"Well, that had long been my desire. --
Thus, I searched for my vassals,
Yet when I looked at this business in the cold light of day,
Then I saw I was lost -
Because sinners didn't yet exist on the earth.
Man, as is generally known, had only two drives:
Sensuality - and appetite;

He had meat and vegetables and love,
so he had an untainted mind.

Pages 9/10/11/12

"And was born in a holy place
An angel with an innocent lily.

Yet not long could I abide the above,
I could feel that it was unfeasible,

I began to drill and to rummage,

And one day - I flew afar.
I fell off the world and fell into the abyss -
Thankfully, without bodily harm -
And next to me lay a pink slip,
that decreed my disciplinary transfer.

I was appointed the king of the evil.
To lord and rule over the sinners,
over the sacrilegious human beings.

Page 8

But then he laughed horribly:
"My dear - you overestimate me!
Could I devise something so divinely beautiful,
That I myself needed no longer to flay anyone;
Yet I don't want to torment you any longer with riddles,
It delays me telling anything to you,
And today I'm a bit forthcoming,
So I want to tell you the facts!"

Now he pulled up an aimchair,
Crossed his left leg,
Lit up a cigarette,
Drank a Schnapps and began:

"My dear!"

"My dear,"
continued Satan smilingly,

"You know, I come from a good family...

Page 7

Frankly, I must admit, I trembled with fear.
Yet the Devil said with a friendly countenance:

"I have examined all that you crave,

and I would serve you with a thousand joys.

Yes, it was virtually an obligation of honor,
To accommodate you, and balm your heart,
But to retrieve morality - that I cannot do!" -
"And why not?" - "Because I devised it myself!"

"You - created morals?" -
"Whoever else?" - "Yes, but you are known throughout the world
as the father of immorality!" -
Then Satan smiled: "They're very connected!"

Page 6

With that, he went and left me in a state of deep brooding.

I attempted to fathom the purpose of morals.
And couldn't couldn't couldn't find any.
And so I was put into a terrible mood.

"Who has an idea?" I yelled with bitter fierceness.
"Were all these terms created askew?
Who in the world brought them to us?"
And finally I yelled with a threatening voice,
"This stumbling block for beauty and art,
This unclear dishonest haze,
That shrivels our lust for life,
That impairs us and makes us dumb,
That should call forth the devil incarnate!" -

Then sounded an explosion, a crashing tone,
And barely had the word escaped from my mouth,
That he stood before me in person

And asked courteously:

"You called?"

Page 4/5

"So-", said the attorney,
"On my request, the young bard
was sentenced, because of immoral writings, by the judges
to seven months in prison." -

- And you're pleased about that!?"

"But certainly!" spoke he, "naturally!
Immorality is certainly a sin!"

"Tell me the reasons behind this!"
I yelled in an increasing rage,
"On the contrary, it is beneficial and good!
Rape, theft, slander, perjury and murder
Those are sins that you can see instantly.
Yet the so-called immorality,
The holy well, the procreating force,
That the universe recreates daily,
That endows only salvation and causes no one sorrow.
I am prepared to be charged,
Yet tell me one thing, Mr. Lawyer,
For what, then, is Morality necessary?" -

He balked, but composed himself quickly.

"For what," he shouted after a short period,
"For what is Morality necessary?
Morality is essential on earth,
Because otherwise everything would be immoral!"

Old German Typeface

Here is a comparison of different old German typefaces. The font on the cover of our book seems to correspond best with Fraktur, especially in the S. Here's a link to the original Wikipedia article I pulled this from.

Title and Other Info

Hello. With the help of my German professor, I've learned a little more about the book and Rideamus. He writes:

Because it is written in old-german script, it is probably "Die Erfindung der Sittlichkeit" or "The Invention of Morality". Of Fritz Oliven himself, the only information that I could find on him is that he is Jewish, and was a lawyer before he turned to writing. In 1939, he fled Germany for Brazil and died in 1956.

There you have it. Thankfully, the interior pages of the book are not in the old script, and are far easier to read. Also, here is a link to a Rideamus bibliography. Die Erfindung der Sittlichkeit is not present, probably because it is out of print.

Finally, my professor mentioned there isn't a whole lot of information on him, even in German, making me even more excited to embark on this project.

Inaugural Post

Hello, everybody. This blog was created to chronicle the translation of Die Erfindung der Sittlichkeit, a book written by german lawyer and author Fritz Oliven under the pseudonym Rideamus.

To our knowledge, this is the first english translation of Oliven's work. This project is likely to be long-running, as it is the work of two people, only one of whom speaks german. (At this point, not even the full title of the book has been translated.)

If you are familiar with the work of Oliven, please feel free to comment. New pages will be added as they are translated.